In general, I am a serious and responsible person. I also tend to be a perfectionist, and perhaps care too much about things that don’t really matter in the big scheme of things. This can be a problem because I feel that I’ve been working hard on all the little things but not having the energy to spend on the Important Things, like designing the life I want. I found this post that highlights what can happen when people get too worked up in the minutiae of their daily life and lose sight of the big picture.
With that in mind, I’ve decided that I spend far too much precious time and energy on time wasting activities, like facebook, email and yes, even reading blogs. I am subscribed to so many blogs that I can’t possibly spend the time necessary to actually read them. This leads me to feel guilty because there is no way that I can keep up. I am going to do some serious editing of my time spent online. I am also going to try an experiment. For the rest of May I am going to post here on a regular schedule, every Saturday and Wednesday. I hope this will allow me to plan my time more wisely.
This will also give me more time to spend on some Other Things, like cooking dinner, going to the gym and working on some of the projects that I have been putting off. I have a lot of art projects that I want to begin but don’t want to blog about for the time being, mostly because they are gifts for people that read this. I have a feeling that decluttering my life is going to be a good thing.
If your looking for some inspiration on this topic, you can check out these resources:
Zen Habits is the creation of Leo Babauta. It features a lot of practical articles on personal habits, financial health and family life.
The Art of Living by Epictetus features a lot of short articles on various topics to do with Life. He is the only Stoic philosopher that I care for.
The Art of Non-Conformity is owned by Chris Guillebeau. According to his own description, “This site features unconventional ideas for remarkable people. I write for artists of all kinds, entrepreneurs, and anyone interested in changing the world. If you’ve ever felt like “there must be more” to life, this is for you.” It is worth checking out.
And finally (because what’s the point of creating the perfect life if life itself is meaningless) I’m listing The Book of Ecclesiastes. This is the Bible’s answer to the questions “Why bother?” and “What’s the point?” You really need to read the whole book to get the impact, but I’ve found it to be very relevant to this era. Plus, it is a fabulous piece of literature even if you don’t believe in Christianity or Judaism.
Note on the image: I made this self portrait while at Snow Farm, on Tuesday I believe. It is charcoal with red and white hard pastels (like conté). I doesn’t really look like me but I really like the tri color effect.
Self Portrait, watercolor on 140 lb hot press Arches (5″ x 9″), 4/19/2009
I came home from my trip to Snow Farm last night, happy to sleep in my own (king size) bed. I have to say that it was a nice little getaway and a very productive time for me. I thought they ran a good operation, having a great staff and really caring about their students. The class itself was pretty low pressure and I feel like I really got a lot out of it. It was a great opportunity to practice and get helpful critiques, as well as meet some new art friends. I am brimming with ideas, both for new projects that I want to undertake and for new artists that I want to look up. I feel a bit overloaded right now, with a lot of information to process. I will write more about it and show more artworks when I am able to think clearly. There are funny stories too.
My mother and father came to the fund raiser auction at the end to see my work, and also to deliver some news. My grandmother died last week, which isn’t a shock, but very sad all the same. They didn’t tell me about it when I was away, not wanting to spoil my class. It is a bit of a mental shock to come home to a house full of people discussing funeral arrangements and debating which priest and cantor should officiate the service. I was just having my morning tea and I suddenly remembered a lot of things about her that I buried away in my mind somewhere. I don’t quite know what to do with myself today.
A note on the image:
I did this self portrait on Wednesday morning during my class. It was the first time I did a portrait in watercolor and also the first time I tried hot press paper. There are a lot of things I would change about it of course, but I think it was a good first attempt. I will definitely be trying some more watercolor portraits soon.
When you sit for an hour and a half in front of somebody, he or she shows about twenty faces. And so it’s this crazy chase of, Which face? Which one is the one? -Francesco Clemente
In this case, it was my own face I was drawing. The quote resonated with me because I often wonder this very thing when making self portraits. It is so easy to change expressions when looking at yourself in the mirror. In real life however, I wonder what my expressions are really like, and how the way I see myself compares to how others see me.
This past week I was having dinner with a friend. I was filling up on breadsticks and salad and I came across a thought that went as such: “It is okay that I don’t have my act together because no one else does either.” I did feel better after that, so I came home and drew this self portrait as a bit of a more confident person! I was drawing very fast as I wanted to get to bed at a decent time. I still think I look stiff though, as it is difficult for me to be draw while constantly looking up and down and maintaining the same pose.
“Now, son of man, take a clay tablet, put it in front of you and draw the city of Jerusalem on it. Then lay siege to it: Erect siege works against it, build a ramp up to it, set up camps against it and put battering rams around it. Then take an iron pan, place it as an iron wall between you and the city and turn your face toward it. It will be under siege, and you shall besiege it. -Ezekiel 4:1-3
Sometimes Bible verses taken out of context seem to apply to me quite a bit. I have decided to keep working. I didn’t lose my hands for a whole year to not use them once I am pain free. When I think about how I felt back then, I was in a state of utter desperation. One of the biggest reasons why I was healed was because I started to shift my thoughts toward what I wanted in life again – making art being one of my biggest goals. I have a lot to be thankful about because for a long time I did not think that I would ever get my hands back again. Even though my life is far from perfect, having working and pain free thumbs, elbows and wrists is really amazing.
I’ve got some new things coming up to be excited about too. April 11th is the SketchCrawl and I’m going somewhere pretty awesome this time. My class at Snow Farm is at the end of April and I just got the itinerary and materials list. It is going to be a lot of hard work, but I know it will be a blast, and I know I am going to meet some amazing people there. Roz announced that April is International Fake Journal Month and I am thinking of keeping my own fake journal. Also, I have decided to work on a project that has been at the back of my mind for the past five years at least. This involves quite a bit of inking, double sided photocopies and a long neck stapler (which I already own for this purpose). It is quite an ambitious undertaking, but I think it will be worth it. In May I am going to start on a new series which will be made outdoors. If it goes as planned, it will take me until the fall to finish, but definitely worth it. I have too much to lose to give it all up now just because of my own frustrations and someone else’s insults or oversights – so I am persevering, and will try to have fun while doing so.
And because I don’t like to post without putting a picture up, I will show you what I did last night. Self portraits are the best subject when feeling introspective, and I don’t really feel that a sketchbook has been made mine until I make a self portrait in it. Now my moleskine is one of my sketchbooks! I was not upset when doing this, even though I might look like it. I was very tired, hence the blank stare and the watering eyes. I made it while sitting on my floor with a mirror on my knees – a very awkward position (notice the wonky proportions).
Self Portrait in Flannel Nightgown, graphite in moleskine, 3/23/09
Clavicle Self Portrait, graphite in 8.5 x 11 sketchbook, 1/31/09
I drew a different sort of self portrait yesterday, this time drawing just my neck and shoulders. I never had much by way of cleavage, but I always thought I had a nice set of collarbones on me.
I drew this with some woodless graphite pencils that I got as a “free gift” attached to a sketchbook I once bought (I only have HB and 9B). They have a different feel than regular wooden pencils as you really can’t get as sharp as a point. I feel a lot more “sketchy” when drawing with these and they are a lot of fun.
Tommy, graphite and colored pencil in 9 x 12 kraft paper sketchbook, 12/28/2008
This is my cousin Tommy. Drawing this was a challenge as his head in the photo was only about an inch high. Also, I’m not too great with drawing children (or smiling faces either). My mother was able to instantly recognize him though which I took as a good sign!
Self Portrait, graphite in 9 x 12 kraft paper sketchbook, 12/31/2008
This is a self portrait that I drew from a photo that I took of myself in the mirror. Years ago I had a tradition of ringing in the New Year by drawing a self portrait and I decided to resurrect it this year. This drawing was also a huge challenge because of the unusual angle. I had a real hard time on the nose.
Leah, graphite in 6.5″ x 9″ sketchbook, 1/1/2009
This is my first CAP 2009 and I chose to draw a portrait of my second cousin Leah. The big smile was the biggest challenge here. I’m don’t think it really looks much like her, but it was good practice regardless.
I drew this in one of those old sketchbooks that I had left unfinished. It is the small Holbein Multi Drawing Book. I really like it as it is thin and small (around 6.5″ x 9″). Also, the paper is on the thick side and it has a really nice toothy surface. What I don’t like about it is the little ribbon tie that is too short so it comes undone and gets in the way. A rubber band like moleskines have would be a better idea.
Self Portrait, conte crayon in kraft paper sketchbook, 12/14/2008
I was digging around through some art supplies left to me by a relative. There were some dip pens, some pencils and a little box of black conte crayons–they must be over twenty years old but they don’t go bad or anything. I never did anything with them before so it was kind of fun to try them out. They are not as messy as pastels and that is a huge plus for me. By the way, this is not what I really look like, but I wasn’t really focusing on getting my likeness.
Self Portrait (profile), graphite in 9 x 12 sketchbook, 12/14/2008
On the other hand, I do actually look like this–I drew it from a photo as it would have been too difficult to do my profile in the mirror. I honestly hate my profile and I don’t know why I’m even posting this, or why I bothered to draw it in the first place!
In general, I am a serious and responsible person. I also tend to be a perfectionist, and perhaps care too much about things that don’t really matter in the big scheme of things. This can be a problem because I feel that I’ve been working hard on all the little things but not having the energy to spend on the Important Things, like designing the life I want. I found this post that highlights what can happen when people get too worked up in the minutiae of their daily life and lose sight of the big picture.
