This distraction left me being a bit lazy in terms of doing what I actually set out to do. I did a lot of sketching, making a lot of progress in the nine sketchbooks that I want to fill up. I also worked in a series on my portraits of men. It was a good exercise – I learned a lot about working in a series and next time around I am going to do things a lot differently. I am going to have more of a plan first and pace myself more because I don’t want to get burned out. I don’t want to feel pressured to produce work because I want to keep up with something. I want it to be a pleasure! I didn’t do any of the work that I wanted to do on Christmas gifts. I really need to get cracking on this one!
Considering recent events however, I am pleased with my progress. I am trying to be gentle with myself, because I deserve it. I have always been an underachiever in life, and I think that if I make easy goals for myself, I won’t be inspired to do more than I think I can. If it hadn’t been for my artwork, I don’t know how I would have made it through all the personal trials I have been through.
If someone doesn’t add to my life, I will edit them out of it. That is my new philosophy. The course my life has taken in the past year has left me with a confidence that I never knew I would possess. I am no longer so concerned with other people’s feelings that I will sacrifice myself for them.
This is a sketch that I made about a month ago in purple ball point pen. I would tweak the composition again if I were to do it again, but it was fun and good practice.
Costa del Sol, ball point on blank card, 3/2/2009
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